Welcome to Borderland! It’s a magical place filled with blizzards, crazy celebrities and online dating.
• Intro: Vocal warmups
• We survived the Blizzard of 2007! However, Momma J didn’t fare so well.
• Our ideas for keeping Momma J occupied during her night at the grocery store.
• Danni gets a visit from Big D.
Break music is by Christopher Dallman “Motel Room”
• What We’z Drinkin’ Now
The High Maintenance
Stoli Blueberi
Sprite
Mix to taste
Break music is by Coltrane Motion “End of Every Movie”
• Lynn’s Celebrity Gossip - Britney’s strange nanny screening process; Madonna plays Mommie Dearest with her daughter; radio station pays Bobby Brown’s bail; Pete Doherty, please don’t feed the penguins weed!; John Travolta says Scientology could have saved Anna Nicole; Billy Bob Thornton releases a war protest album; Hey, Mel Gibson: I’m talkin’ to you!
Break music is by Rebecca Haviland “I Found You”
• Outro: Danni still seeks a match on eHarmony; genealogy uncovers the skeletons in you shower.
Happy President’s Day! Borderline celebrates this momentous holiday by scouring the internets for the weirdest news on the web. Enjoy!
• News of the Wired
? Dead man mummified in home
? Newborn baby skeletons found in bag
? AZ woman sucks her Valentine’s blood
Break music is by The Living End “Wake Up”
• What We’z Drinkin’ Now
El Presidente #2
1 shot Dark rum
1 shot red Sweet Vermouth
1 splash Grenadine
Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Add a cherry.
Break music is by Trucker Cleavage “Imaginary Friend”
• Lynn’s Celebrity Gossip - Milli Vanilli movie - what’s up with that?; Pamela Anderson gives a bad interview; Michael Jackson tries another comeback with American Idol producer; make your own Clay Aiken scandal!; Britney hops the bullet train to Crazy Town; Hey, Mel Gibson: I’m talkin’ to you!
Break music is by Anonymous American “Don’t Be Late”
• Outro: Danni takes a chance on eHarmony; Neil is all a flitter over Twitter.
This week’s episode can be filed under the following tags: DRAMA, FIRE APES, CELEBRITY DREAMSICLE. Get your W-2’s collected and prepare to be audited, Borderline-style!
• Intro: Borderline Productions presents Whispers on the W-2
• Lynn’s a big deal now that she’s a curator.
• Shout-out to The Fire Apes: thanks for the promo!
• Appearing for one night only - The Scrubbing Bubbles, Slave to the Nap and Ditch Road Whore!
Break music is by The Fire Apes “Hey Kate!”
• The Media Mix - Aqua Teen Hunger Force “terrorism” scare
Break music is by Love = Action “Chemical Love”
• Lynn’s Celebrity Gossip - Denise Richards goes to the beach and puts on some “lip gloss”; Nikki Taylor sues E! Entertainment Television; Factory Girl sex scene - real or fake?; Armed and Famous cancelled; Neil’s celebrity dreamsicle; Hey, Mel Gibson: I’m talkin’ to you!
Break music is by Blackout Gorgeous “Gunshot Wake”
• Outro: Danni moves once again; Redboy, keep checking your mailbox for your refund check, buddy - we’re totally good for it!
Listen to Episode #73
A new year calls for a new Borderline! This episode is all about new additions to the show, new voicemail and new trends for 2007. By the way, did we mention that it’s new?
• Intro: The Borderline Technical Support Line
• Neil buys a new MacBook; Lynn threatens to steal it.
• Danni makes some noise!
Break music is by Ian Knapp “Jumping The Wall”
• What Drives Us to Drink - voicemail from Ferg
Break music is by The Fire Apes “Five Inside”
• Lynn’s Celebrity Gossip - Britney Spears with child again?; Anna Nicole Smith pimps her child for cash; rejection at Prince’s Golden Globes party sends Lindsay Lohan into rehab; Justin and Cameron are bringing love triangles back; Isaiah Washington is a hateful, hateful man; Hey, Mel Gibson: I’m talkin’ to you!
Break music is by Craig Cardiff “Emm and May”
• Outro: Danni has a case of puppy love.
Listen to Episode #72
Borderline is back from the brink of holiday madness. We’re a bit rusty, so this podcast is, um, sponsored by, uh, awkward transitions. Happy New Year!
• Intro: Borderline Productions presents Suspicious Minds
Borderline gives a thumbs-up to The Official Movie Plot Generator: It’s frickin’ fantastic!
• Danni is a butterfly trapped in a snowstorm.
• Holiday Dessert Drama - Lynn’s uncle throws cakes and pies; Neil’s family sugar cookie recipe used by impostors!
Break music is by The Future “Hero Hero”
• What We’z Drinkin’ Now - Mimosa
Chilled Champagne
2 oz Orange juice
Pour orange juice into a collins glass over two ice cubes. Fill with chilled champagne, stir very gently, and serve.
Break music is by Scott Helm “Hyper Lounge”
• Lynn’s Celebrity Gossip - Lindsay Lohan to strippers: Sorry I insulted you!; the award for “Inappropriate Use of Text Messaging” goes to Paul McCartney; Julia Roberts expecting; Mike Tyson arrested again; a fond farewell to James Brown and former President Gerald Ford; Hey, Mel Gibson: I’m talkin’ to you!
Break music is by Steadman “Live It Up”
• Outro: Overheard at the DMV; Lynn to the elderly - hang it up and stop driving!
Listen to Episode #71
