Borderline #83 - 3/29/08
LIVE from Madam Hootch’s Sin Spot, it’s Borderline! Danni, Lynn and Neil take a break from texting to record some ramblings and announce the winners of our Fantastic and Terrifying photo contest.
• Intro: Txt message alert madness
• Danni’s doppelgänger is shakin’ it in her Santa Monica Asspants.
• We have some good news and some bad news for Texas Tom. But first the bad news…
• Borderline’s wedding reception style guide - sweatpants are a no-no.
Break music is by Rock Kills Kid “Raise Your Hands”
• Fantastic and Terrifying Photo Contest: congratulations to our winners Texas Tom and Anthony from Colorado! And thank you to everyone who submitted a photo. Your next challenge: Fun and Ugly.
Listen to Episode #83
(MP3) 16.3 MB
March 31st, 2008 at 5:41 am
Who is this Mandy of which you speak? Has she been on the show? My memory doesn’t go back that far.
To quote Mr Manilow:
“Yesterday’s a dream I face the morning
Crying on the breeze
the pain is calling, oh Mandy”
Congratulations to Mandy, she of the hottest voice ever to grace a podcast! Radio, Mandy. It is where your awesome voice belongs. I trust your lucky spouse will listen to everything you have to say with eager glee. I am happy for both of you. Welcome to married life. Based on personal experience, I give you a week before your families start bugging you about children. Enjoy that week!
Lynn, what do you mean I’m not even in that picture? That hurts man.
You had many cool photo submissions this show. Kudos to each and every entry. They all kicked ass in my opinion.
Sigh. oh Mandy…
March 31st, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Oh Texas Tom
you came and you gave us a photo
but Lynn insulted you today
Oh Texas Tom…
Sorry, I was carried away by the power of the Manilow
March 31st, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Neil- ye shall never sing Manilow again! I didn’t “insult” him…. I was being ironic. I was nowhere to be seen in my submission either. I did Tommy Lee and Danni did Bingo Balls - remember?
All I was trying to do was establish some guidelines for future submissions - didn’t mean to offend, Texas Tom! That turtle is grade “A” awesome, as are you…. and Archie the UNL Mammoth. Speaking of - did you catch any of the Nebraska v Texas baseball this past weekend. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.:) U-N-L!…U-N-L!
April 1st, 2008 at 5:45 am
I didn’t get to see any of the baseball games. But it is always good to beat Texas at anything. The average longhorns fan that I’ve met down here would fit in well in the douche obsessed days of Airferg. There are exceptions of course.
Thanks for the laugh Neil. I never underestimate the power of the Manilow.
You didn’t offend me, Lynn. But I don’t necessarily agree with the new ground rules. There are better examples for pretty much anything than the lame facial expression of a texas tom. For example, a borderline tat on skanky tommy lee pretty much summed up the last contest. Don’t make me look at him again though. Once was more than enough. I could feel the hepatitis C oozing from the photo.
I like the new Foo by the way. I forgot to reply to your question on the last show thread.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:18 pm
This is how gator hands get put on sticks.
NORTH LAUDERDALE, Fla. — An alligator perched on the side of the road caused traffic delays during the Tuesday morning rush hour in North Lauderdale.
The 9 1/2-foot gator was hanging out on the right side of southbound U.S. Highway 441 near the overpass to Florida’s Turnpike.
Construction worker Jimmy Sewell was at a job site nearby when he noticed the gator. Sewell said he stopped some children on their bicycles from getting too close to the gator while a co-worker dialed 911.
An officer with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission later arrived and initially used a catchpole to corral the gator before switching to a rope to lasso the gator around the neck.
The gator tossed and turned while the officer, two deputies and another man tried to hold the gator down. They duct-taped the gator’s mouth shut and tied down its limbs before taking the gator away.
A trapper took possession of the gator and said it would be harvested because it is too large to be release into the wild.
April 1st, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Kevin - thank you for this informative update. Now I have to contact this trapper and have him ship me one of the gator claws. I’m sure Danni will LOVE her new gator claw hairbrush! What a wonderful Christmas we will have this year
While I do think it’s important that children be prevented from taunting a reptile that could kill them in an instant, this story leaves me wondering about something. How large is “too large” for a wild animal to be released back into the wild? Think about it, people.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:22 am
I think my 23 pound cat is too large to release to the wild. For one: if an alligator tried to swallow him, it would choke to death.
April 2nd, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I went home this weekend, as evidenced by the show. And my sister and brother-in-law are holding some items for his parents while they move back to Wyoming. I was helping them get ready for family to come to dinner, and picking up a bit - when i reached out to move this thing off the guest bed and it was a FREAKIN’ BEAR w/the actual head in their guest room and a f’n BUFFALO in their garage. Freaked - my - sh*t - out. I don’t approve! “This is a lovely room of death!” - Ace Ventura II.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Awesome show. I submitted my entry too late for this show… now, I just have to come up with FUN & UGLY. I’ve passed all the first NSFW ideas.
It was nice to hear y’all back in the studio in the Nation’s Breadbasket
.
Other than that, it’s late in the day, and I got up early this morning to listen to BDLine and do some biking on the recumbent trainer.
One last thought. Who’s doing the graphic design for Danni’s new t-shirt… I want to be on THAT committee.
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Brad - we eagerly await your Fun & Ugly submission
I myself thought I would get a good F&U photo at drag queen BINGO last night. Unfortunately, this did not happen as the promised “celebrity” bingo caller came sans drag. He did, however, bring a rapid-fire verbal delivery that was totally unsuited for the calling job. Occasionally, he interrupted the calling with long monologues on various topics. He talked at length about a movie that must be seen to be believed. My response - “You should check out this new movie called GET BACK TO THE BINGO AND QUIT WASTING MY TIME!” And that’s probably why I didn’t win a damn thing the rest of the night.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Listen people, I can’t emphasize this enough: respect Neil at bingo. He’ll beat your @ss down and not think twice about it. PS: I did the Bingo Balls.
April 8th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Someone just handed me the best subject for the Fun and Ugly photo contest. Will upload tonight when I get home. Watch for it!
April 13th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I am a Borderline Photo Contest Purist.
I will always use pictures of my face, as the inaugural competition asked for expressions. I will never submit a photo of someone else, and whenever possible I will never use props or photoshop tomfoolery.
These words I say to you all to demonstrate my love of the game. My joy in taking part. My loyalty to the creed.
“This is my face.
There are many like it, but this one is MINE.
My face is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it (my face) as I must master my life.
My face without me is useless. Without my face, I am useless.
I must bust my kick-ass expressions true.
I must bust kick-ass expression more wicked-awesomley than my enemy who is trying to bust kick-ass expressions of his own.
I must drop face moves on him him before he has chance to drop face moves on me. I will…
My face and myself know that what counts in being looked at is not the heat we pack,
the cut of our jibs, nor the mad money we make.
We know it is the fly-ass facial skills that count. We will make them count…
My face is human (contrary to popular belief), even as I, because it is my life.
Thus, I will learn it as a brother (and I’ll learn it good. REAL GOOD!).
I will learn its weaknesses (no weaknesses - check),
its strengths (the whole package - check),
its parts (eyes - check, nose - check, ears - check, mouth - check…All in the appropriate arrangement - check),
its accessories (facial hair - check),
its sights (20/20 - check)
and its barrel (uhm…misplaced).
I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage (moisturise).
I will keep my face clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
We will become part of each other. We will…
Before God (Zoolander) I swear this creed.
My face and myself are the defenders of my ego.
We are the masters of our enemy.
We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until there is no enemy, but PEACE (and a room full of 40’s and fly hos).
April 13th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
…ADDITIONAL…
WORD!
April 19th, 2008 at 5:23 am
Hahaha Helmet. The judging was of course outrageously flawed!
No worries- I think as consolation prize, the runners-up should be presented with Neil’s huuuuuuuge television or a pair of Santa Monica Asspants. I think Borderline are secretly grooming their listeners to become future gurners. For those of you who are inexcusably unaware- I should mention this fantastically “fun & ugly” website, sadly defective though due to technical problems:
http://www.gurntube.com/
Enjoyed the show cutiepies!
Thankyou for confirming that Mozart wrote Twinkle Twinkle little star btw! I’d heard that too. Bet it’s caused some embarassment amongst some big conductors: “So what will you be conducting this evening maestro?” “Cough-Twinkle-Cough Twinkle LillstarCough”
ps: who the f**k is J. Leno?
April 19th, 2008 at 7:43 am
Wow - I totally feel like I dropped the ball here on responding to the comments. But how can you respond to the eloquence that is Digby’s photo contest manifesto? Brilliant.
Anthony - how do I describe Jay Leno? Hmm… he took over the Tonight Show from Johnny Carson (famous Nebraskan!) and he has a big chin. Seriously, the Leno face is all chin. Allllllllll chin. Does that help?
April 19th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Jay Leno is a Jerk.
He will never win The Photo Contest…unless the theme is “Bizarrely, Self Gratifying and Overwhelmingly Nauseating”…I don’t know what it is, but This comment section brings out my bitterness…I’m normally a well adjusted, if somewhat boisterous, young man.
April 20th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
I just got overwhelmingly confused. I typed in dbline.net
I thought i’d had a stroke.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:52 pm
At the risk of showing my age: I remember a time when Jay Leno was actually funny.
Nobody can compete with Johnny, though. NOBODY.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:46 pm
I r at ur Borderline, steelin all ur podscat.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:46 pm
*sigh*…I R Bored.