Since Borderline already has reporters in the field, do you think listeners (and hosts) would be even better served with a Borderline “Sporting Fool”? We could send him or her to faraway places filled with danger and suspense wearing only a crash helmet and a jumpsuit covered with one dollar bills and/or convenience foods. Of course, a camera operator would be necessary to document the mayhem. I volunteer to operate the camera.

Dateline: San José, Costa Rica. I depart from the Crowne Plaza hotel to seek holiday weekend festivities. Costa Rica considers Thursday through Sunday to be holidays, so most businesses are closed.

A wrong turn and an ill-chosen route back to the hotel takes me through what the locals confirmed was a bad section of town… and I learned that at least one “business” remained open. Two women emerged. One approached. The dialog unfolded in much this way:

“Hola, handsome!!”

I turn around to look behind me to find out who “handsome” must be, but seeing no one I turn back.

“Howya doon?”

“Um… I’m fine.”

“Choo look like choo lookin’ fo’ somthin’. Whachoo lookin’ fo’?”

“Um… my hotel.”

“I got sumthin’ I think choo would like.”

“Are you saying you have directions to my hotel?”

At this point, the conversation briefly goes nonverbal.

“Um, yes, they look nice. Um… I gotta go.”

I must say, among the beggars, the non-uniformed individual with the nightstick, and the guy who was literally sleeping in a gutter, this particular interaction still seems to stick out.

To me, these people are weenies. Buy a box of Double Stuff Oreos. Take the wafers off four of them. Mash these together. Aaaah. Wholesome.

I wonder if, someday, California will spearhead the reuse of forlorn orphaned Oreo wafers by placing recycling bins around major cities. Either that, or they could drop them from planes during wildfire season to provide a light cocoa scent to the air.

I also see the former governor of New York has finally entered the conversation. Who won the betting pool?

These chocolate-covered coffee beans are awesome. They also are the next best way to shocking your dentist than preceding your visit by eating a box of Oreo cookies.